The Chosen One: A Reverse Harem Fantasy (The Airluds Trilogy Book 2) Page 13

  He stiffened, as if he hated me for what I was telling him.

  "Do you understand, Rama, my beloved? You would rip out my heart and I would never be whole again."

  He nodded. "I understand. I'm a bastard, but even I wouldn't do that to you."

  I lifted my arm free of our embrace so I could cup his cheek in my hand. "Do you know what the only good thing about being the Goddess Incarnate is?"

  He shook his head.

  "Having the love of four incredible men. Had I been plain old Airsha I would never have been given all of you."

  "There it is again," he said on a laugh. "I for one fell in love with you before I even knew you had any magic. You drew me from the very first moment. Not the goddess in you. You. Filthy, snooty, brawling spitfire that you were. My little whirlwind. You scared me shiteless. Not the Goddess. I'm in awe of her. But you, plain old boy/girl Airsha. And I know for a fact I'm not alone."

  I laughed a little too, letting the heaviness evaporate. "That might be so, but Fate brought me to you. Or the Goddess did. Without her, we would never have met. And you would have found another filthy, snooty, brawling spitfire to fall in love with."

  He kissed me then. Passionately, desperately. It stole my heart all over again. "There would never have been another spitfire to love. Never. I know that to the depths of my soul. You're it for me. There was never going to be anyone else. Had we never met, I'd have lived my half-life alone, thinking I was happy. Not knowing what I'd missed."

  A catcall from the paddock pulled us apart and Rama swore loudly and fiercely to have this moment intruded on by others. Darkin snapped something at the lads and they hastily ran off about their tasks. But the moment was broken. And mayhap it was for the best. I felt all wrung out. Soul-searching with Rama was always like that.

  "I had better get this pair inside. They demand I put my feet up for a while. Bossy young ones. Take after their father that way." I quirked an eyebrow at him and he swatted my behind.

  "Then get about it, woman. We like our women obedient."

  I groaned and waddled away. It was one of those times where I wished I had my old body back so I could swish away, rolling my hips impudently at him as I went. But no, I just had to waddle off. It was all the Goddess' fault!

  Getting my body back couldn't come soon enough for me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  AIRSHIA

  It was nearing the winter solstice, the longest night of the sun. When I thought back to what was supposed to happen on the summer solstice, the longest day of the suncycle, some six moons ago, it was hard to credit the changes that had occurred in my life. I had gone from the Godling's favourite daughter living in his lush harem, wanting for nothing but freedom to be the woman I needed to be, to the Goddess' Chosen One. I was her human incarnation, in a way my father never could have been the incarnation of the gods. Back then, I had never even heard of the Goddess. There had only been gods.

  And now I had my freedom. Yet in some ways I was even more imprisoned than ever. This time by destiny. But at least now I had the life I wanted: four amazing men who loved me, airlings to fly the sky with, a cause I believed in, and magical babes who would soon burst into the world.

  A world already ravaged by a war my very existence had started.

  In much the same way I had asked Rama to do, I chose to ignore the bitch whispering such dark thoughts at me. That bitch, just like Rama's inner bastard, didn't have my best interests at heart. All she wanted to do was bring me down, make me doubt myself so I hurt and let down the people I loved. Only one person could stop her. Me!

  So I focused on all the wonder in my life and silenced the bitch.

  "Not wallowing again?" Dark said, coming to stand behind me. It felt like forever since we'd stood just like this, not long after we came to the Centre. I wished I could have a repeat of what had occurred that day, but my body would no longer allow being taken against a wall, even if Dark could have hefted me up to do so.

  Our sex life had been limited because of my condition. My husbands had insisted that I take only one or two of them to my bed at once and lovemaking could only be gentle. As my sexual appetite was higher than ever, I had thwarted some of these restrictions by insisting all my men remain in the same room with me throughout the night. That meant if they chose to stay out of the love-making they were tortured for it. More than once my ploy had worked, and men who were supposed to have been 'sitting out' crawled into our bed and loved me anyway. It meant I was getting a lot less sleep than normal at night. But I made up for it with naps during the day.

  I felt like a fat old crone. Or I did, when my husbands weren't making me feel fecund and glorious. It was like my blossoming shape made them want me more, not less. And the tenderness when we came together was almost too much to bear.

  "Not wallowing, I promise. Rama and I have a pact. He will ignore the voice in his head that calls him a monster, and I will ignore the one that tells me I'm to blame for every bad thing in the world. It's hard work."

  Dark's arms came around me and rested comfortingly on the babes. He kissed the top of my head. His warmth seeped through our thick clothing and added to the comfort I felt in his presence.

  "Work that needs doing by both of you. I'm glad you've seen that. But I didn't know there was a voice involved."

  I laughed. "Not an actual voice. Just a part of us that thinks we're not good enough. You probably don't have a part like that."

  He squeezed me. "Don't you believe it. I've got just such a part. It told me it was my fault Ma died. If I'd let Rama defend her earlier she'd've lived. It told me I should've been the one to exact vengeance on the bastard that killed her, not my little brother. That I was a coward. It told me you only took me as part of your harem because I was brother to the others. It tells me many things I have to fight to ignore."

  I wanted to turn in his arms, as I had the last time we stood like this, but the confession confused me. Dark wasn't supposed to doubt himself. He was the strong one. The one who always knew the right thing to do. The right way to be. Yes, I had known he needed an opportunity to be with me alone, to reassure himself of his place in my heart, but I hadn't realised it was more than that.

  "Your bastard is as wrong as ours, then, isn't it? If you'd managed to stop Rama, you and your brothers would have avoided nearly being hanged and conscripted into the Godslund army, but would also have missed out on the valuable lessons the army provided. And killing for someone like you isn't... right. Not because you're a coward, but because it goes against your morals. You aren't a violent man, my love. You are a rational, contemplative one. You have to be true to your nature. Just as Rama had to be true to his by killing that murderer. I find it interesting that he wants to be like you and you want to be like him. And just so you know, you were the first brother I fell in love with, on the ride home from town that first day. Your place in my harem was always assured."

  I felt the smile in his voice as he said, "I know my place is assured. I know you love me as much as the others. That's why it's easier to ignore that voice. And you're also right about my morals. But I've come to understand that sometimes you have to fight and possibly kill for what's right. My conscience tells me so."

  I sighed heavily. "Yes, that's how I see it too. Though I wished it were otherwise, this war is just and must be fought. People will die, mayhap even some of us, to bring about the change required in the world."

  "I love you," Dark whispered into my ear as he nibbled at my neck.

  I groaned as my arousal spiked. "Don't do that, you cruel man. I am too fat to be taken against the wall."

  "And there are too many inquisitive eyes for it," he added, kissing me resolutely once more before releasing me.

  "Who's coming?" he wondered aloud in the next moment.

  I turned to see where he was looking. It was just where I'd been staring the whole time we'd talked. I had seen nothing. I still didn't. Dark had eyes like an airling's.

  "Someone's coming. Someone
mounted."

  I looked harder. In the snow-covered distance I could just make out a dark blob. I wanted to ask if he was sure, but I knew such a question was redundant. Of course he was sure. This was Darkin.

  His arms came around me again, this time protectively, while we watched the blob turn into a rider. By the time he was close enough to identify, I was shaking.

  "What is it, Beloved?" Dark asked, pressing me closer.

  "It's... It's Airshin!"

  Dark swore loudly and drew himself up to his full height. "Call the others."

  I knew what he meant. If I let my sudden emotional overload be felt by the rest of my husbands they'd come running. There seemed no limit to the distance my call could reach.

  I let down my barriers and let my shock, horror, joy and confusion rush out to them all.

  Darkin grimaced. "I knew what happened between you, but I didn't realise how... intensely you felt his betrayal. We'd better make sure Rama doesn't kill him before we find out why he's here."

  I gave a little laugh. I knew he was making a joke, but it was half true. Rama hated my brother. I'd fuelled that hatred only a few days ago. He might really kill him if he thought Airshin was going to hurt me again.

  "It might take all of you to hold him back."

  "We'll do it. Until we know what the little bastard wants." Dark sounded almost like Rama in that moment.

  I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was overjoyed to see my brother, my twin. I still loved him, no matter what his attitude was to me. But I didn't trust him. Why would he come here? How had he even found us? Whose side was he on?

  I heard running footsteps and, in the next moment, three big men rounded the corner of the homestead in a group and rushed to the bottom of the stairs in front of us. After a quick glance at me, they turned their full attention on the smallish blonde man before them, mounted on a quality beastling.

  In so many ways he was still my double. The same white-blonde hair, milky pale skin, big violet-blue eyes fringed by fair lashes, long straight nose, slim, short body. Only his obvious masculinity and chin differed. My chin was prominent, some might say too prominent for a girl. His was slightly receding and rounded.

  "Brother, what brings you here?" I demanded, my voice as steady as I could make it.

  Flea rushed around the corner, panting hard. She drew up short at the sight of the intruder. I paid her no mind. All my focus was on Airshin.

  He looked just the same. But what had I expected? Half a suncycle wouldn't have changed him overmuch at eighteen. Me, on the other hand... Well, I could be mistaken for a different person.

  "Sister, it is good to see you. Who are these men? Your guards? The ones who rescued you from Father?" he looked at each of my husbands with interest. His gaze didn't even touch on Flea, who he would consider a mere lad of no value. If he knew she was actually a girl, her value would have fallen even further. Unless he thought her suitable to bed.

  "My husbands. I say again. What brings you here?" I wasn't going to be distracted from what mattered most: our security.

  Airshin sighed heavily. "You have not changed a bit, do you know that? I thought to find you softened a little by your experiences. But here you are, as pigheaded and focused on what you want as always. Could you not be hospitable and invite me in before you interrogate me?"

  Rama growled and Jaron and Calun grabbed an arm each to hold him back. I moved down two steps, remaining on one so I could place my own cautionary hand on Rama's shoulder while I looked over it. Mayhap foolishly, I thought my grasp might be more useful than the others.

  "We do not offer hospitality here. If that is what you seek, I suggest you go elsewhere," I said, feeling the old frustration with my brother rise. This is what it had felt like every time he'd walked past me as I hid, waiting for him in the shadows.

  Airshin seemed to realise his mistake and immediately changed course, his tone suddenly conciliatory. "I am sorry, Airsha. I know you have to be cautious. We are at war, after all. It has taken me a long time to track you down, but I have finally found you. I was hoping Mother might be here, too. I have missed you both."

  "Yes, we have to be cautious. So, I ask again. Why are you here, brother? Many people, including our father, are trying to track me down."

  He shuddered. "I was out with my detachment searching for you when you were returned to Father. I heard what happened to you and I was shocked and horrified that Father would do such a thing to his favourite. When I heard you had escaped I was happy, though I knew it would go worse for Mother and me because of it. So I left to join the rebels."

  "You deserted?" Rama growled in astonished disgust.

  "I escaped," Airshin countered defensively. "The way Airsha escaped. If I had stayed, who knew what Father would have done to me, just because I was Airsha's twin. I was innocent of any wrong-doing, but that would not have mattered."

  "Because Airsha's actions made your life unbearable," Jaron drawled, his voice icy.

  "Yes, exactly. But what is done is done. And blood is thicker than water. I knew I had to make my new place with her."

  "How inconsiderate of her not to let herself be sacrificed," Jaron continued. I could hear the sarcasm in his tone, but for some reason Airshin couldn't. He thought he was being serious.

  "Not inconsiderate. Just lacking in duty. My sister, you have probably already found, is not always what a good woman should be. She follows her own path, no matter what duty dictates. But I imagine you are working to address such weaknesses of character. I see you have started the process by getting her with child. That will stop her boyish ways." He grinned knowingly at Jaron as if they shared a common view of women.

  Rama growled again, and we all held him tighter.

  "We're working to address some of her attitudes forged back then," Dark said with admirable reasonableness. If I hadn't known what he meant, I would have sworn he was agreeing with Airshin. As far as he was concerned, the only attitudes I needed to address were my unwarranted guilt over what I'd done by escaping the first time.

  Rama growled again. I had no idea how long we could keep him contained. The lads had joined Flea now,

  and were looking on with curiosity. The last thing we needed was an all-out brawl in front of them. Not that it would be much of a fight. One solid punch and Airshin would be down.

  "So am I welcome to join you? I would love to own an airling. I was so envious when I found out you were flying, sister. Though I suppose you have not done much of that in your condition. You might consider eating less. You are grossly overweight with this babe."

  That was it. Rama broke out of our hold and rushed at Airshin. He accidently pulled me with him, off the step. I flailed my arms, trying to stay upright. Calun grabbed me and held me safe. Rama dragged Airshin from the saddle, lifting him off the ground by his tunic, so they were nose-to-nose.

  "There is so much wrong with what you just said it'll take me time to cover it all. Let's start with the airlings. There's no way an airling would ever consent to being yours, or even letting you ride him. And Airsha can still ride. Her airling rejoices with her in her fruitful state. Lastly, you little prick, Airsha is having twins. She isn't overweight. And if one of those twins is anything like you I'll beat it out of him like I want to beat the arrogant, ignorant condescension out of you right now!"

  "Airsha, stop him!" Airshin cried in panic, struggling to escape my much larger and more powerful husband. I felt sorry for my brother. It wasn't his fault he'd been forced to leave his perfect life as the Godling's son behind him. That was all down to me. But his taunts were irritating. And I was seeing him as my husbands saw him now.

  I didn't like what I saw.

  "Rama, put him down. His words don't hurt me anymore," I declared with conviction, meaning every word I'd uttered.

  My warrior turned to look at me, assessing the truth of what I said. A slow smile spread across his scarred face, making him beautiful.

  "Good to hear," he said, dropping my brother on
his butt in the snow and turning his back on him. From my time watching the youths-in-training, I knew this was the worse insult one soldier could level at another. It said, you are beneath me. I have no fear of you.

  "Airsha? I thought you would be as happy to see me as I am to see you," Airshin bleated from his place in the snow.

  I sighed, feeling the pull of our bond. "I am, brother. But you have to realise that things have changed. These are the men you labelled unmanly because they went to rescue their fallen brother. These are the Airluds. They do not think as Godslunders do. They are my harem and each stands with me against all foes. If you stay, you will have to let go of your old ways of thinking. They do not hold true here."

  Airshin scrambled to his feet, wiping off the damp snow and mud that clung to his fine clothes. He seemed none too pleased with what I'd said.

  "My way of thinking? So, because these renegades call you theirs, I have to change my thinking? Does that not sound oh-so-familiar? How often did you tell me I was wrong when we were childlings? Tell me I had to think differently, act differently, because you were right and I was wrong? How many times, sister?" His snarl had me backing up a step, though I knew he'd be dead before he reached me.

  "I cannot make up for how I treated you as a child. My excuse was that I thought you were like me. But I have now realised I was wrong, and for that I am truly sorry," I admitted, hearing the rumble of disagreement in my husbands' throats. "However, my ultimatum still stands. If you wish to stay here with us you will need to change your thinking. If you cannot do that you must leave. No special dispensation will be given to you as my brother.

  "The gods do not exist. That fallacy was fed to us to support our father's power-base. The Goddess is all. And I am the Goddess' Chosen One. Her human incarnation. No one is permitted to disrespect me, or any woman, for that matter, in rebel-held territory. Do so at your peril."

  The lads were the first to start cheering and clapping. Then my husbands took up the accolade. I was so shocked my mouth fell open. Closing it quickly, and hoping the burn in my cheeks didn't give my embarrassment away too much, I nodded my thanks to them all.